Singapore ACSI Fees Now Require Monthly Sacrifice Of Human Organs

ACS Independent has unveiled a fee structure designed to finally eradicate the lingering stench of the middle class.

The prestigious institution now demands a tuition fee roughly equivalent to the annual GDP of a small European nation.

Management confirmed the price hike funds the mandatory Botox injections for all Year 1 students to maintain a look of perpetual superiority.

"Wah lau, I sell my liver but still cannot afford the school tie leh," lamented one aspiring social climber.

"If my son don't get IB 45 points, I will personally throw him into the Kallang River for wasting my money."

The school remains committed to ensuring 'The Best Is Yet To Be'—provided your family tree is liquid gold.