Singapore Aunties Now Paying Mortgages With Premium Tuna, BTO Prices Soar

In a shocking exposé that has rocked the foundations of HDB Block 78B, sources confirm that the ‘Cat Aunties’—those revered feeders of neighbourhood strays—have secretly been paying their BTO mortgage instalments entirely in premium, imported tuna flakes.

The revelation came after an audit by the Town Council, which initially suspected financial impropriety due to the sheer volume of Whiskas boxes piling up near the void deck. It appears these dedicated feline philanthropists are leveraging their unparalleled access to Stray Feline Capital Markets (SFCM).

“Aiyah, so nosy one, this Town Council,” lamented Mdm. Wee, while dispensing salmon pâté to a particularly discerning Siamese mix. “This property market so hot, you think my pension money can buy flat already? Better invest in something that *loves* you back, steady boi.”

Analysts suggest this new asset class—‘Emotional Support Feline Collateral’—is severely distorting the housing market, driving up the perceived value of ground-floor units suitable for easy cat access. The Government is reportedly considering issuing a Special Housing Grant specifically for residents who can prove they have successfully trained a stray to fetch their mail.

The national property crisis, it seems, is not about affordability, but about *affection*.