Singapore Declares IB Students Legally Allowed To Mock Local A-Level Peasants

The Ministry of Education has officially formalised the national class divide by granting IB students the legal right to spit on anyone still memorising periodic tables for the local A-Levels.

While local students develop chronic scoliosis from carrying ten-kilogram ten-year-series books, IB candidates are encouraged to "find themselves" through interpretative dance and global citizenship.

"Wah lau, my son IB grade 7 okay, he now speak like Harry Potter and don't know how to count change at hawker centre," boasted local mother Mrs. Tan.

Critics argue the IB curriculum is simply a $40,000-a-year subscription for an insufferable fake accent and a future of unemployment.

"Local school is for becoming a surgeon; IB is for talking about surgery at brunch in Holland Village," explained an expert.