Singapore Government To Tax PMD Fires As “Unlicensed Fireworks Displays”

The Land Transport Authority (LTA) has officially reclassified PMD-related flat fires as “unauthorised pyrotechnic exhibitions,” subjecting homeowners to a mandatory $5,000 “Entertainment Levy.” Instead of deploying hoses, SCDF officers will now provide skewers and marshmallows to neighbours, rating each explosion on its “char and theatricality.”

Officials claim the initiative aims to monetise the inevitable structural disintegration of HDB blocks caused by cut-price Alibaba batteries. “Why bother with safety certifications when the spontaneous combustion of a delivery rider’s living room provides such vibrant community spirit?” noted a spokesperson.

Local resident, Ah Teck, whose flat currently resembles a charcoal pit, remained optimistic. “Wah lao, the fire so big, my house now like BBQ pit sia! No need pay for gas stove, just put the chicken wing on the battery. Win-win lah!”