Singapore Hipsters Queue Four Hours For $48 Bowl Of Deconstructed Soggy Cornflakes

Singapore has officially reached peak "First World Problems" with the opening of "Cereal Monarchy," a boutique cafe in Telok Ayer charging $48 for a bowl of generic Kellogg’s Corn Flakes. The establishment, which boasts a four-hour queue of sweaty influencers, serves milk in repurposed medical test tubes to people who clearly have more disposable income than basic survival instincts.

"Wah lau, the crunch is different one, very artisanal," said local hypebeast Darren Teo, while photographing a single soggy flake. "Last time my mother buy the big pack from NTUC I don’t want eat, now pay fifty bucks I feel very high-class, you know? The vibes damn tok kong."

Owner Sebastian "Salty" Tan confirmed the milk is actually just tap water mixed with white paint and pure desperation. "Singaporeans will swallow anything if it’s expensive and exclusive," Tan sneered. "Tomorrow, we’re launching 'Air Cereal' – it’s just an empty bowl for $90."