Singapore Mandates 30% Buffet Waste To Flex National Wealth

The National Environment Agency has officially declared leftovers a "poverty-tier embarrassment," mandating that every citizen must discard at least one-third of their meal to maintain Singapore’s image as a first-world playground.

New guidelines suggest that failing to throw away a perfectly good half-eaten lobster at a wedding dinner is now grounds for social ostracisation and a mandatory "humility" course.

"Wah lau, you think I what? Low SES ah?" remarked local foodie, Tan Ah Kow, while dumping an entire untouched bowl of Laksa directly into the bin.

"If I finish everything on my plate, later my neighbors think my Grab IPO portfolio crash and burn, then how?"

The government confirmed that the pungent stench of rotting premium sashimi emanating from Semakau Landfill has been officially designated as the "scent of prosperity."

"Real Singaporeans don't do doggy-bag; we just let the incinerator enjoy the Wagyu instead."