Singapore MOE Unveils ‘A0’ Grade To Distinguish Gods From Peasants

The Ministry of Education has finally addressed rampant O-Level grade inflation by officially reclassifying an A1 as "functional illiteracy."

With 99% of the population now scoring straight distinctions, the government warned that anything less than perfection is a national embarrassment.

“Wah lau, A1 only? My pet hamster also can get leh, now must get A-Zero or don't bother coming home,” said Mrs. Teo.

To restore academic trauma, the SEAB is replacing Mathematics Paper 2 with a high-stakes gladiator match involving advanced trigonometry.

“Last time A1 is solid gold, now A1 is like tissue paper for choping table only,” lamented tuition mogul, Barnaby Wong.

The state remains confident that psychological collapse is a fair price for global rankings.