Singapore Parents Outsource Children’s Homework to Freelancers to Guarantee Straight As

SINGAPORE — Recognising that "learning" is a massive waste of billable hours, Singaporean parents are now outsourcing their children’s homework to professional mercenaries. This "Academic Laundering" allows Primary 1 students to bypass the indignity of thinking, freeing them up for high-stakes networking at elite preschool wine-tasting seminars.

"Aiyah, my son schedule more packed than MRT during peak hour," said Mdm Low, who pays a team of interns to handle her toddler's penmanship. "If he do himself, surely fail one. I pay $800, the homework come back perfect. Now he can focus on his real passion: judging poor people."

The Ministry of Education is reportedly considering a "Strategic Outsourcing" badge for the Boy Scouts to standardise the corruption.