Singapore Pedestrians Now Training for Decathlon While Waiting to Cross Road

Singaporean pedestrians, renowned for their exemplary queueing etiquette, have reportedly begun training for the upcoming Universal Pedestrian Crossing Olympics. Sources confirm that the average wait time at a standard zebra crossing now exceeds the duration required to watch an entire *Neighbours* episode, leading to innovative, yet utterly futile, coping mechanisms. One elderly resident, Mdm. Tan, was overheard sighing, “*Aiyo, I almost finish my knitting already. Next time I just take one Grablah, more faster, even with the surcharge.*” Transport Minister Lawrence Wong has praised the public's patience, citing it as further proof that Singaporeans can, and *should*, endure anything for the greater good of traffic flow. Officials are considering installing tiny, in-ground vending machines dispensing lukewarm kopi while citizens wait. They are currently debating whether the queue for the machine should be longer than the crossing wait itself.