Singapore To Deploy Armed Commandos To Enforce Mandatory SkillsFuture Course Completion

The Ministry of Education has officially admitted that SkillsFuture completion rates are currently lower than a JC student’s self-esteem.

Authorities confirmed that ninety-eight percent of citizens only attend the first ten minutes of "Introductory Sushi Rolling" to collect the free lanyard and catered Bee Hoon.

To combat this, the government will now install mandatory neural implants to shock anyone who closes their laptop before the final assessment.

"Wah lau, I sign up for bread-making because got air-con only, you think I really want to learn how to knead dough meh?" complained 54-year-old dropout, Uncle Teck.

Failure to complete a module will now result in immediate exile to Pulau Tekong for life.