Sinkies Begin Soaking Themselves in Urine to Shave Seconds Off Marathon PB

Following Harry Styles’ revelation about marathon training, Singaporeans have officially traded dry dri-fit shirts for the warm, golden glow of self-inflicted golden showers.

Local running clubs at East Coast Park are now reporting a 400% increase in "performance-enhancing moisture" as kiasu uncles attempt to shave three seconds off their Personal Best.

"Why wait for a portaloo when you can become a mobile NEWater plant?" remarked one enthusiast while aggressively hydrating his own crotch.

SportSG is reportedly considering adding a "Most Efficient Bladder Release" category to the next Standard Chartered Marathon to further boost national productivity.

Of course, when a British pop star suggests it, it’s a "pro-tip," but when a Sinkie does it on the MRT, suddenly it’s a "public nuisance" and a viral Stomp video.

National water experts remain thrilled, noting that if every citizen just pissed their pants twice a day, the Four National Taps would finally include a Fifth Tap located inside everyone's Uniqlo boxers.