Chan Chun Sing Warns Paying Sinkies Fairly Would Ruin Magic Of Poverty

The Singapore government has clarified that paying National Servicemen a living wage would be a "vile insult" to their priceless sacrifice.

Minister Chan Chun Sing explained that "compensation" is a filthy word used only by people who don’t understand the spiritual ecstasy of digging trenches for $600 a month.

Apparently, if you actually paid a Sinkie market rate for losing two prime years of his life, the "sacred duty" would evaporate, leaving behind the cold reality of state-sanctioned cheap labor.

Officials worry that giving NSFs enough money to afford more than a McSpicy would ruin the pure, untainted magic of being forced to march until your toenails fall off.

Servicemen are now encouraged to pay their bills using "National Resilience" and tell their landlords that their contribution to the country is simply too sacred to be measured in dirty, transactional cash.