MacRitchie Monkeys Threaten Lawsuit Over Substandard Trail Snacking.

In a shocking display of urban entitlement, MacRitchie Reservoir’s long-resident long-tailed macaques have formally lodged a complaint with NParks over the quality of offerings from visiting hikers. "Eh, siao ah? This packet biscuit so hard, like rock!" complained one primate, identified only as 'Ah Hock'. Experts suggest the monkeys are now demanding artisanal sourdough and cold-brew coffee, citing 'cultural appropriation' of their natural habitat by overly enthusiastic tourists. The National Parks Board issued a terse statement advising the public to only offer "commercially viable, sustainably sourced snacks" or face potential primate litigation. Locals are reportedly stocking up on imported gourmet nuts, just in case.