MINDEF Enlists Tekong’s Ghosts to Combat Singapore’s National Service Recruitment Shortfall

In a desperate bid to combat plummeting birth rates, the Ministry of Defence has officially integrated Pulau Tekong’s legendary spectral population into the SAF. The newly formed "Apparition Battalion" now leads night route marches, ensuring recruits are far too petrified to "chao keng."

"Eh, last time the ghost only hide in the third cubicle. Now, she is my Section Commander, shag sia," remarked Recruit Tan, weeping during a 24km march. "She don’t even need torchlight; her eyes glow red already. Very efficient for tekan-ing us."

The initiative follows reports that Gen Z recruits are more afraid of losing Wi-Fi than vengeful spirits. Consequently, the "Lady in White" has been tasked with Stand-by Bed inspections; her ability to phase through lockers makes hiding contraband impossible.

"Walao, you think I play play ah?" barked Warrant Officer Lim. "That ghost got more spirit than you lot! If she can hang from the ceiling for fifty years, you can do ten more push-ups!"