Singapore Adventurers Brave Bukit Timah To Discover New Species of Swamp Ass

Hundreds of fitness masochists descended upon Bukit Timah Nature Reserve this weekend, eager to simulate the experience of being boiled alive in a Uniqlo Airism shirt. The “hike”—a gruelling ten-minute incline that even a geriatric pug could conquer—left participants looking like they’d been retrieved from the bottom of the Singapore River.

“Siao eh, I thought I was dying,” said local hiker, Jenson Khoo, dripping enough salt water to solve the global electrolyte crisis. “My shirt so wet, can use to mop the whole Bukit Panjang. But the photo on IG must look cool, even though my kuku bird also drowning in sweat.”

Authorities remain baffled as to why citizens leak four litres of fluid onto a paved road for fun.