Singapore Dolphins Sued For Illegal Assembly After Briefly Visiting Sentosa Coast

Recent sightings of Indo-Pacific humpback dolphins off Sentosa have stunned locals, who are amazed that any sentient organism can survive in water that is effectively a tepid broth of industrial coolant and discarded Tiger Beer cans.

The Maritime and Port Authority has already moved to sue the pod for "illegal public assembly without a permit."

"Wah lau, I see them jump and I thought is a sign to buy 4D," said witness Ah Hock. "But then I look closer, the poor fella look more stressed than a PSLE student. Probably swimming fast to escape the Jurong Island smell, sia."

The government is currently reviewing whether the dolphins’ echolocation skills are sufficient for a career in mid-level management.