Singapore Government Practices Saying 'No' To Superpowers After Perfecting It On Sinkies

Foreign Minister Vivian Balakrishnan confirmed Singapore is finally ready to tell superpowers "no," a word the government has spent sixty years aggressively practicing on its own citizens.

The MFA plans to deploy the same stone-cold, bureaucratic "cannot" usually reserved for single people trying to buy HDB flats or anyone asking for a protest permit.

Diplomats are being trained to look world leaders dead in the eye and say, "Sorry ah, system down," before walking away to claim a free lanyard.

Vivian warned that Singapore is "useful but not to be made use of," much like a toxic ex who only calls when they need a ride to Changi Airport.

The ministry is also refining the "Signature Sinkie Stare"—a combination of extreme kiasu energy and the dead eyes of a Grab driver watching petrol prices.

If a superpower pushes too hard, Singapore will simply release the ERP gantries and a swarm of passive-aggressive Safe Distancing Ambassadors onto their capitals.