Singapore LTA Seizes 178 Devices To Remind Sinkies Who’s Boss

The Land Transport Authority successfully liberated 178 electric motors from the streets, ensuring Singapore remains the world's premier destination for walking slowly in 90% humidity.

Officers uncovered 477 instances of citizens moving faster than a mall-walking senior without the state’s sacred written permission.

The massive haul of impounded e-bikes has reportedly doubled the LTA’s official fleet, now used to hunt down any remaining traces of joy.

“LTA catch me like drug kingpin just for one small motor,” complained a delivery courier.

“Now bike gone, I hope they eat their own summon letters for dinner!”

Officials confirmed the seized devices would be melted down into more "No Riding" signs to decorate the nation’s empty paths.