Singapore Mandates 10% ‘Gratuity Ghost Fee’ To End Tipping Awkwardness

Following a recent, totally unsolicited, and entirely baffling proposal from the Ministry of Finance, Singapore is set to become the world’s first nation to mandate a 10% 'Atmospheric Appreciation Surcharge' on all transactions, regardless of service quality. This revolutionary tax, dubbed the ‘Gratuity Ghost Fee’ by bewildered retailers, aims to proactively reward service staff before they even have a chance to perform adequately. "We are getting ahead of the curve," stated a government spokesperson. "Why wait for an awkward moment of decision when you can just charge it automatically? Efficiency, lah!" Citizens are predictably thrilled. "Wah, now I don't need to worry whether the hawker splash soup on my shirt or not, the 10% damn sure gone already," lamented one resident, Mr. Tan. Experts suggest this move will finally unify Singaporeans under a single, shared, low-grade financial anxiety. The surcharge will reportedly be reinvested into developing new, faster ways for consumers to lose their spare change.