Singapore MRT Fares Now Higher Than Your Ancestor’s Entire Life Savings

In a move that shocked absolutely no one who has ever paid a dollar for anything in this city-state, the Land Transport Authority (LTA) announced yet another fare hike for public transport, citing ‘unforeseen global inflation in the cost of being slightly less miserable.’ Experts confirm the steep increase will allow the government to finally afford the gold-plated, zero-emission, self-driving buses they have been promising since the 1990s.

Commuters, however, remain stoic. “Wahlau eh, I tell you! Already so hot inside the MRT, now later cannot even afford the aircon ticket price,” lamented retiree Ah Chong, queuing for a discounted packet of tissue paper. “Next time only can take the bus until the last stop, walk back halfway, then tap out near the station entrance. Just to save fifty cents, lah!” The LTA assures citizens this is merely the next logical step towards achieving their vision of a fully integrated, world-class public transport system where every journey costs more than a flight to Bali.