Singapore National Service: Live Firing Causes Mass Recoil Sickness, Recruits Demand Blankies

The terrifying reality of live firing hit recruits harder than expected this week, as a platoon reportedly developed a collective "recoil sickness" immediately following their first SAFTI City range session. Eyewitnesses claim the sheer sonic boom of the SAR 21 caused several National Servicemen (NSFs) to instinctively flinch, leading to a mass psychological regression. “Later, when we queue for the *kopi*, suddenly one *ah-soh* start crying, say he want his mommy,” stated one bewildered Sergeant. “Then the next one say he scared of loud noise, ask if can swap to administrative duties *liao*.” Defence Ministry sources confirmed that post-firing debriefs are now mandatory, focusing on ‘de-flinching’ techniques and reminding soldiers that the recoil is merely the rifle giving them a firm, manly pat on the shoulder. The Ministry assures the public that these recruits are merely "adjusting to the auditory majesty of modern warfare."