Singapore National Service Parents Now Requiring Unit Bragging Permits

The Ministry of Defence (MINDEF) is reportedly considering a mandatory “Unit Bragging License” for all NS heartlanders, following a disturbing surge in parental one-upmanship. Sources confirm that a recent PTP session was delayed after a father insisted his son’s batch was “definitely better” than the one graduating next week.

“I tell you ah, my son’s batch, every time they go out for IPPT, the standard is so high one. The instructors say, ‘Wah, this one must be from Guards one, so fit!’” boasted Mr. Tan, ignoring a medical officer attempting to check his blood pressure.

The proposed licensing system aims to curb the practice of parents turning recruitment centres into competitive PTA meetings. Recruits themselves are reportedly suffering severe psychological fatigue. "Every time I call home, my mother just want to know if I see any 'elite' guys, you know? I tell her, ‘Ma, I just kena chiong-ed by my Sergeant,’ she just reply, ‘*Aiyo, your cousin in 3SIR that time, he already drive the big vehicle already lah!*’" lamented one shell-shocked recruit. MINDEF assures the public that while bragging will be rationed, the sacred art of parental one-upmanship will remain officially unsupported but culturally mandatory.