Singapore Panda Crowned National Hero After Successfully Avoiding Work For Decade

Mandai Wildlife Reserve announced Kai Kai the panda has achieved the Singaporean dream: doing absolutely nothing while getting paid in imported grass.

Despite a million-dollar breeding programme, the bear shows less sexual initiative than a weary auditor during tax season.

"Wah lau, this bear damn steady, just eat and sleep only," noted zookeeper Ah Hock.

"Govt give him aircon house and free food but he don't need to work, sibeh shiok!"

Management confirmed the panda will receive a Public Service Star for perfectly simulating the productivity of a senior civil servant.

China reportedly refused the bear's return, fearing his "Quiet Quitting" lifestyle might infect their factory workers.