Singapore Recognises Standing In 4D Queues As Professional Olympic Sport

The Ministry of Culture has officially designated queueing at Singapore Pools as the nation’s premier Olympic endurance sport.

Thousands of retirees are undergoing high-intensity training by standing in the midday sun to achieve peak financial delusion.

"My legs damn pain but my heart very 'Huat' one," said 80-year-old Lim Ah Huat, while nursing a heatstroke-induced hallucination.

"Government say we must stay active, so I come here to exercise my wallet and my patience lor!"

Critics argue this is a monumental waste of human potential, but experts claim it is the only way to suffer without a permit.

Authorities plan to install oxygen masks to ensure citizens don't die before donating their life savings to the state.