Singapore Successfully Sells PR Status To 450 People Who Hate You

The Singapore government has confirmed that 450 lucky millionaires have officially purchased the "Singaporean DLC" for a combined S$500 million.

While you spend your miserable life saving for a depreciating HDB birdcage, these global elites have paid for the divine right to cut you off in their Lamborghinis.

Minister Gan Siow Huang reassured the public that the Global Investor Programme is a vital economic pillar, because nothing builds a nation like selling its soul to people who think "heartlands" is a brand of artisanal cheese.

These investors have committed millions to funds that will eventually be used to make your rent even more unaffordable.

The EDB clarified that if you cannot afford to set up a S$200 million family office, you are legally classified as "scenery" for the incoming residents.

Remember, your patriotism is appreciated, but their cold, hard cash actually pays for the electricity in your corridor.