Singapore Woman Finally Achieves Peak Tai-Tai Status By Losing All Human Empathy

Mrs. Gladys Tan, 44, has successfully ascended to the final form of Singaporean evolution: The Sentient Platinum Credit Card. After seven years of strictly consuming bird’s nest and the souls of junior associates, Gladys has reached a state of permanent, Botox-induced serenity. Her schedule is a tactical nightmare, involving 11 AM "spiritual" yoga and four-hour lunches where the only thing sliced thinner than the sashimi is her domestic helper’s morale.

"Wah lau, you know how stressful or not? My manicurist never use the right shade of nude, I almost cry in Takashimaya sia," Gladys shared, while vibrating with the intensity of a failing marriage. "I tell my husband, don't talk to me unless you buy me the new croc-skin Kelly. My heart very pain when I see last season's collection."

Experts warn that if Gladys ever touches a public bus handle, she will instantly combust.