Singapore Woman’s Uniqlo Cardigan Officially Recognized As Her Primary Vital Organ

The Ministry of Manpower has officially declared the navy-blue Uniqlo cardigan a biological extension of the Singaporean female anatomy.

Scientists discovered that removing the knitwear from a marketing executive’s shoulders results in immediate hypothermic shock and a 400% increase in "cannot-lah" complaints.

Office temperatures across the CBD have reached such sub-zero levels that local women are now evolving thick, acrylic-blend pelts to survive the 9-to-5 ice age.

"Every day I wear one, then inside my bag still got another backup one," said local victim, Cheryl Tan, huddling under an air-con vent blowing liquid nitrogen.

"My office damn cold sia, last time I forgot my cardigan, my nipples freeze until can cut glass, sibeh jialat leh," Jasmine added while shivering.

Surgeons are now reporting cases of plastic buttons fusing directly into women’s spinal columns during particularly long Zoom calls.

HR departments have responded by installing industrial microwave ovens specifically for the purpose of thawing out frozen receptionists.