Singaporean Man Takes Fourth Job To Pay For Third Job’s Therapy

Local overachiever Lim Ah Huat has successfully secured a fourth gig as a professional funeral mourner to fund the skyrocketing costs of his third job’s clinical depression.

The 28-year-old, who already balances life as a data analyst, tuition teacher, and night-shift security guard, claims that leisure time is a "Western myth" designed to bankrupt the soul.

Lim’s daily schedule involves a rigorous 22-hour cycle of grinding, leaving him just enough time to blink twice and contemplate the sweet release of a coma.

"Wah lau, if I don't work four jobs, how to buy cai fan with fish?" Lim screamed while vibrating from sheer caffeine toxicity.

"Nowadays everything so expensive, if I stop moving for five minutes I will bankrup one, serious!"

Government officials have praised Lim’s "resilience," suggesting that if he stops breathing entirely, he could save an additional $40 monthly on taxable oxygen.

Economists agree that the only way to survive the Singaporean dream is to simply never be awake to experience it.