Singaporean Women Abandon Whitening Creams, Embrace ‘Internal Glow’

In a shocking revelation that has sent ripples through Orchard Road salons, Singaporean women have reportedly stopped using whitening products, opting instead to achieve their desired porcelain glow through sheer, unadulterated disdain for the tropical sun. Experts now suggest the nation’s collective shade of ‘Slightly Yellowish Beige’ is no longer acceptable. “Wah lau eh, I spend so much on serums, now suddenly the whole nation just look so... *natural*,” lamented 28-year-old marketing executive, Shona Tan. “It’s very disruptive to my personal brand. Where got power?” The Ministry of Culture, Community and Youth has issued a statement urging citizens to continue their quest for luminosity, reminding everyone that looking perpetually surprised by the humidity is a national service. Authorities worry that if the trend continues, Singapore might accidentally look like a country that enjoys Vitamin D.