Singaporeans Shocked To Learn Scandinavia Exists Outside Of Tampines Ikea

In a move that has shattered the worldview of thousands, a new report suggests that ‘Scandinavia’ is actually a geographical region and not just a furniture warehouse in Tampines.

Local aesthetic enthusiasts are reeling after discovering that the ‘pristine Nordic lifestyle’ involves more than just assembling a MALM dresser while sobbing in a humid living room.

“I thought Scandinavia was just the land of $1 hotdogs and Swedish meatballs,” said one devastated office worker.

“Now you tell me got Norway and Denmark? So many names, so mafan, better just buy the Billy bookcase and diam diam lah!”

Interior designers are now charging $80,000 for a ‘tasting flight’ of Nordic minimalist air, which is essentially just turning the air-con to 16 degrees and throwing away your plastic bags.

“Wah lau, I buy one $10 lamp, I thought I was very Scandi already,” remarked one auntie.

“You tell me now must go Oslo to be ‘retro-cool’? My house only got retro-dust and ants leh!”