Singapore’s Jurong Birds Demand Civil Service Pensions After Mandai Relocation

Singapore’s feathered elite have officially filed for diplomatic immunity following their forced relocation from Jurong.

The penguins, accustomed to Jurong’s vintage grime, now refuse to perform unless their enclosures are upgraded to GCB standards.

National Parks Board officials are reportedly "shaking" as cockatoos threaten to leak cabinet meeting minutes via high-pitched screeching.

"Eh, Jurong last time quite okay what, now Mandai so far, need to pay ERP to fly or what?" complained a disgruntled hornbill.

"I tell you ah, the birds here all becoming very high-SES and demanding," observed witness Uncle Lim.

The Ministry has warned that any parrot caught mimicking the opposition will be immediately detained without trial under the Internal Security Act.