Sinkie Arrested For Making Sungei Kadut Actually Lit

A local arsonist was arrested for single-handedly trying to inject some warmth into the soul-crushing grey void of Sungei Kadut.

The 20-year-old visionary allegedly sparked three separate blazes after deciding the industrial estate was far too depressing for human survival.

"Sungei Kadut so dead one, I just want to make it more 'happening' mah," the suspect explained while being tackled.

Authorities seized a lighter and gloves, proving that Sinkies still rely on primitive tools to combat chronic workplace boredom.

"Lighter also can kena catch, next time I use magnifying glass lor," grumbled a nearby forklift driver.

The suspect now faces seven years in prison, a place significantly more "lit" than a timber warehouse.