Sinkie Sent To IMH After Giving Cat Shittier Haircut Than SAF Recruit

Xavier Seah Ja Chen has been remanded at the Institute of Mental Health because he apparently thinks he’s the next Vidal Sassoon for strays.

The 23-year-old was caught on CCTV pinning down Timmy the cat to give him a "short-back-and-sides" so atrocious it violated the Geneva Convention.

While most Singaporeans worry about the rising GST, Xavier decided his life’s mission was providing complimentary, non-consensual haircuts to Everton Park’s feline residents.

Authorities were alerted when the cat realized it now had more bald spots than a middle-aged Grab driver.

Xavier’s legal team may argue that the cat requested a "low-taper fade" but lacked the CPF funds to pay.

Perhaps he was just trying to help the cat clear IPPT by reducing wind resistance.

If convicted, he faces 18 months in jail, where he can practice his barbering skills on cellmates who are much less likely to purr.