Sinkies Begin Licking Gramophones To Taste New BTS Album

The release of the BTS “Arirang” teaser has triggered a nationwide neurological crisis as thousands of Singaporeans took the “taste” of the album literally.

Emergency rooms are reportedly overflowing with fans suffering from severe tongue splinters and lead poisoning after attempting to ingest 19th-century gramophones.

One 24-year-old superfan, identified only as a “Professional K-Pop Slave,” was found wandering Orchard Road in a period-accurate hanbok made of purple trash bags.

“Eh, if Oppa says it got taste, it must have taste what! I lick the record player until my tongue bleed also worth it for the aesthetic,” she screamed while being restrained by paramedics.

The government has since issued a travel advisory against the Pacific Ocean, fearing fans might actually try to swim to Seoul as depicted in the teaser.