Sinkies Distraught As Itacho Sushi Ghosts Entire Nation

The Great Salmon Famine has officially begun as Itacho Sushi disappears faster than a mid-career professional's dignity.

Singaporeans are currently undergoing a collective nervous breakdown after discovering that their favourite shrines to vinegared rice have been "gazetted for death" by the authorities.

The brand’s sudden digital suicide has left thousands of basic office workers with absolutely no personality left to post on Instagram.

"Liddat how? My membership points all burn already!" screamed one hysterical management trainee while clawing at the locked shutters of the Bugis Junction branch.

"Now I must go eat Genki like one low-class animal, damn suay man."

Authorities confirm that while the fish is gone, the legendary saltiness of the Singaporean public remains at an all-time high.