Sinkies Fuming As Australian Missiles Ignore Slow-Walking Mall Aunties

Australia’s deployment of Boeing surveillance planes and missiles to the Middle East has sparked outrage among Sinkies.

They demand that such "defensive" hardware be prioritised for clearing the human bottleneck at Orchard Road.

While the Australian leader claimed the missiles are for protecting friends, Singaporeans are incensed that no ordinance has been allocated to eliminate people who walk four-abreast at a glacial pace.

"Missile only for UAE? Sian, man," muttered one office worker while queuing for overpriced salad.

"They should use that surveillance plane to find which bugger never return tray at the hawker centre, then boom!"

"Straightaway send them to see their ancestors."

Locals remain convinced that a tactical air strike is the only way to finally shorten the queue for the Pokémon Milo truck.